I like to chew bubblegum,
I chew it until my lips are numb;
Even though it makes me cough,
It gives me a chance to show off;
I chew with a great deal of vigor,
To blow my bubbles even bigger;
My jaw churns like a runaway train,
As if I were absolutely going insane;
Then I blow a bubble ever so big,
Almost as big as the face of a pig;
Then it explodes all over my face,
And, humiliated, I am in utter disgrace;
Why do I always have to be the best?
And be such a stupid arrogant pest?
I try way too hard to seem so cool,
But I’m really, honestly, just a big fool.