This is the life of
Maria Fedele Castorino,
My dearest mother,
Who has just journeyed
From time to eternity.
She was born
In the small town of Ripacandida,
In the province of Potenza,
In the region of Basilicata,
In the beautiful country of Italia.
This treasured little babe
Was the youngest of her family,
And she had three older siblings;
Nina, seventeen years her elder,
Was like a second mother to her,
Sweet and gentle, and Rosinella
Was beautiful and good and true.
Her mother, when she was younger,
Lived with the nuns in the town,
And they taught her how to cook
(and cook very, very well),
But, more importantly, they
Taught her how to revere God;
She said those nuns lived like saints.
Her father was the provider,
And he had lots of land and a farm,
He grew the sweetest of fruits
And the most flavorful of vegetables,
He made a unique and delicious wine
That is unlike any I have ever tasted.
So, in short, my mother grew up
In a truly God-fearing home,
A God-centered home,
And they prayed the Holy Rosary together
Every day, even their blind neighbor
Would come over and she would join them.
They went to church at San Donato,
The patron saint of the town,
It is a historic little church built
In the 1400s, and my mother
Received her first sacraments there.
Each year in early August,
They would celebrate the
Festa di San Donato
With their fellow townspeople,
And it was a time of joy for them;
She and her father would stand
Right under the bandstand
To hear classical music,
Which my mom grew to love.
And then little Maria
Went off to school,
To a neighboring town in Melfi
About a 30-minute drive;
During recess she used to like
Playing with her friends
On the old bridge of a
Historic medieval castle,
The Castle of Melfi.
She was the lucky one in her family,
For she was given the opportunity
For an education, and so,
Her studies brought her to
The bustling city of Napoli,
The city of San Gennaro,
The saint whose blood miraculously
And mysteriously liquefies.
Along with other boarders,
She lived with the nuns,
And at school she came to know
Her dear friend José
(it’s a pretty French name,
and it’s pronounced yo-SAY),
The most beautiful girl in her class;
They would walk the streets of
Napoli together, listening to the
Cheerful music in this happy city.
But one of mom’s highlights there
Was frequently taking trips,
Pilgrimages really, to the
City of Pompei, where she
Visited what is arguably
The most famous Marian shrine
In all of Italy: The Sanctuary of
The Blessed Virgin of the Rosary,
Built by Blessed Bartolo Longo.
She took me there once,
And she showed me her little spot,
Where she would always kneel,
By the side of the altar,
To offer her prayers to God;
And what a beautiful basilica it is;
In fact, it’s like a smaller version
Of the magnificent St. Peter’s Basilica
In Roma, with breathtaking marble columns,
And the most inspiring sacred art.
But World War II interrupted her life,
And everything was put on hold;
Sometimes she would look in the distance,
And see a multitude of parachutes falling
From the sky, she would hear the bombing
Of military targets, such as Foggia, a city
That was a mere hour and a half away,
And very close to where the great
San Padre Pio had his ministry
In San Giovanni Rotondo;
Word of this good saint spread
All the way to Ripacandida,
And my mom remembered hearing
Amazing stories about him.
One day, however, stood out
Among all the others: the day
When the Nazis came to town;
The fear of the townspeople was real,
And everyone boarded up their houses,
Making it look like a deserted ghost town;
But one foolish man with a pistol
In the upper part of town
(like many Italian towns, Ripacandida
Was built on the brow of a hill)
Decided to take on the enemy,
And he fired at the Nazi intruders;
They conducted a search but
They never found him, so when
The Nazis arrived in Melfi,
They started cannonading Ripacandida,
By the grace of God, I don’t think
That anyone was hurt that day,
But it was a frightening experience
For them all, and a day they
Would certainly never forget.
In God’s time, mom finished
Her college studies, in accounting,
And then from there, she set her sights
On the United States of America;
Her beloved Zio Antonio
(or Uncle Anthony in English)
Lived in Brooklyn, New York,
And he was hoping that my mom
Could join him in America;
My mom loved him like a second father,
For he was a courageous, saintly man,
And so she too hoped to be given
Permission to come to the States.
But her interview did not go well,
And her request was denied;
My mother cried and cried
Because she so wanted to live
With her Uncle Anthony.
And then her holy sister Rosinella
Had a dream one night, a dream
Of Our Most Blessed Mother,
Who spoke to her and said,
“Maria Fedele partirà!” –
Translated into English this means,
“Maria Fedele will depart!”
And, of course, the good God
Is never outdone in generosity,
My mom was granted a second interview,
And her request was accepted.
She spent one glorious year
With her beloved Uncle Anthony
And his wonderful wife Aunt Fannie,
It was like Heaven on earth for her;
She had so much love and so much
Respect for the two of them,
Living in their little apartment.
But her dream was shattered one night
When she lost her Uncle Anthony,
Who died like a saint, in his sleep –
Then later on that same week
She received news that her own
Father had also passed away;
She felt lost, but good Aunt Fannie
Helped her through this difficult period,
And their love for each other – and for God –
Always remained very, very strong;
In time, the two of them became
Third-Order Franciscans.
But as the Venerable Fulton J. Sheen once said,
“When Our Blessed Lord came to this earth,
He had the divine sense of humor” –
And Mom experienced this in her life:
Aunt Fannie knew an Italian family
That had moved to Southern California,
So they took a trip there, and Mom met Dad,
And eventually the two of them got married.
In time, I came along, and this brought
Great joy both to my mom and dad,
I still remember being a young lad in
The house (mansion actually) of my grandpa
In the hills of Glendale, California,
And I remember it being a happy time,
Probably filled with lots of hope for the future.
But, unfortunately, my dad didn’t take care
Of himself – and, he was a chain smoker;
In short, he died very young,
And my mom was a widow
Just a month before I graduated
From Chaminade College Prep.
But my mom was always and ever
Faithful to him; she never once had a thought
Of remarrying after Dad’s death,
Because for her marriage was a
Once-in-a-lifetime thing,
And so, instead, she devoted herself
To raising me in the best way she knew how;
After my father’s death, my mom and I
Grew ever closer, and we were always
There for each other, in the best of times,
And also in the worst of times –
And we experienced them both.
Then, in the 1980s and 1990s,
God blessed us with the opportunity
To do some travelling to various places,
But the most magnificent ones for her were
Those with the most breathtaking scenery:
Italy, Switzerland, and the Canadian Rockies.
But one travel highlight that stands out
Above the others was our trip to Roma
In September 2000 of the Jubilee Year,
We had the trip – and pilgrimage – of our lives;
We arrived in Roma in early September,
And on our first day we went to a
Prayer service in St. Peter’s Basilica,
With Pope St. John Paul II – we were
Both thrilled to be in the presence
Of this very, very holy man
(Who actually looked a little
Like her father).
We went to two papal audiences,
As well as two papal masses,
One of which fell on my birthday,
We had a memorable day driving out
To San Giovanni Rotondo,
To honor good San Padre Pio,
We ate the most delicious of
Italian food, and were inspired by
The beauty of Roma, and also the
Beauty of La Bella Italia.
A couple of years later,
When my daughter Maria Laura was born
(Named after my mom and also Our Lady),
A new hope sprung in my mom’s heart –
And a new mission took hold in her heart –
From the moment that she first saw Maria,
She was absolutely and utterly in love;
Through her love, through her example,
And through her prayers, my mom
Was committed to the growth and
Maturity of Maria Laura: physically,
Intellectually, emotionally, aesthetically,
And, most especially, spiritually.
My mom was also a lover of art,
She loved to do oil paintings,
And was really quite good at it,
And, perhaps without realizing it,
She was devoted to the good,
The true, and the beautiful;
She loved beautiful things,
And she transformed our new home
In Scottsdale into what we might call
“A Little Church,” filled with sacred art.
As an Italian mother, food was also
Important to her, and she was truly
A master of the culinary arts:
Zucchine Agrodolce, Antipasto,
Biscotti, Cannoli, Cassata Siciliana,
Chocolate-Covered Strawberries
(Injected with Liqueur), Cime di Rape,
Focaccia, French Toast, Gnocchi,
Lasagne, Homemade Pasta,
Minestrone di Verdure, Pancakes,
Pepperoni, Pizza Margherita,
Pizza Imbottita, Pizza di Ricotta,
Polpettone, Ravioli, Manicotti,
Sospiri, and on and on and on.
In these early years of Maria Laura’s life,
Mom and I also grew in our
Devotion to the Divine Mercy,
And it became a centerpiece in
Our prayer lives, especially in
Times of difficulty and trial;
We also prayed the very beautiful
Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary
(According to St. Louis de Montfort),
And Mom would reconsecrate her life
To Jesus through Our Lady on a daily basis.
When Maria Laura was old enough,
We took some memorable vacations
To California as well, from San Diego
To Santa Barbara, from Solvang to
San Luis Obispo and the Apple Farm Inn;
We took a special delight in visiting
The old California missions that were
Established by San Padre Junipero Serra;
Yet all the while, she never seemed to
Think of herself – rather, she looked to
The needs of Maria Laura, always thinking first
Of her granddaughter’s needs, before her own needs,
Just as she had done when I was a little boy.
As Maria Laura grew, my mom continued to
Pray and pray and pray and pray –
Mom rejoiced when Maria Laura
Graduated from Xavier College Prep,
She rejoiced again when Maria Laura –
Not so little anymore – went off to college at
Loyola Marymount University;
I’m sure Mom’s faithful praying of the
Most Holy Rosary had a very positive impact
On Maria Laura’s life, where she has been very
Blessed indeed in being part of a strong
Campus ministry program at Loyola,
Living among faith-filled friends
In the spirit of St. Ignatius of Loyola,
Praying his Spiritual Exercises.
Time passed, and Eternity drew nearer.
Although the Coronavirus pandemic
Struck fear into us all, I think it gave us
The opportunity to face our worst fears,
And by the grace of God, to conquer them.
During the pandemic, Mom’s physical
Condition gradually began to deteriorate –
Even though she had lived her
“Threescore years and ten” – plus another
25 years on top of that – mostly healthy ones;
But in a special way this year, 2022,
The Lord seemed to be preparing Mom
For her journey to her Heavenly home.
Like never before, she surrendered
Her life to Our Lord Jesus;
She would get up in the morning,
And sit in front of the window,
Soaking in the beauty of God’s creation,
She developed a new appreciation
For God’s simple gifts at this time,
And she appreciated more than ever
The love and sacrifices that her family
Willingly made on her behalf.
Around the Fourth of July,
Mom’s physical decline became
More swift and noticeable;
But again, the good God is so good,
I was blessed with the opportunity
To be my mom’s caregiver,
Dedicating myself to her
Like I had never done before.
The Lord was patient with me,
I’m sure I wasn’t the best caregiver,
But I tried my best to lovingly care for her
While juggling the many needs of our family;
Both Maria Laura and I were able to share our love
With Mom, telling her how much we loved her,
And she told us how much she loved us, too.
Time passed and Eternity was at the gate.
August 30, 2022. It was a holy day. It was a holy time.
Then, after Maria Laura went back to the university,
Our pastor came to give Mom the Last Rites,
I opened the door, and it was hard for me to
Hold back the tears – I was in pain, in very deep
Pain and sorrow, for I knew that Mom was
Close to the time of her flight to Heaven;
Our pastor was so like Jesus, he was so calm,
So encouraging, so strong in the face of adversity –
So like Jesus and Jesus’ foster father St. Joseph –
He was such an inspiration for me, and yet
When he began the Last Rites, at the side of
Mom’s bed, and prayed the beautiful
Litany of the Saints, I began to weep,
To cry, and then to sob uncontrollably –
I knew that Mom was going to her
Eternal reward, and yet, because
I loved her so much and because
I already missed her so much,
I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed,
My voice cracking badly as I recited
The Litany of the Saints with our pastor.
And then – then! – he recited the
Prayer of all prayers: The Apostolic Blessing,
And I knew what that meant, a complete
Remission of all the damage done by her sins,
In other words: she had a fast pass to Heaven,
She had already been through her Purgatory
In her many sufferings endured here on earth;
I was thrilled, but I was sincerely suffering,
Carrying the heavy and painful Cross of Love.
And then — then! — our pastor offered her the
Gift of all gifts: the Most Holy Eucharist,
When he broke off a small piece of the host,
And gave her Holy Communion,
Mom’s light blue eyes opened wide
With wonder — clearly, she recognized the
True presence of Jesus: body, blood, soul, and divinity —
And she received Holy Viaticum to prepare for
Her flight into the majestic splendor of Heaven.
Time passed, and Eternity was knocking at the door.
August 31, 2022. It was the perfect day. It was the perfect time.
Americare Hospice was now assisting me,
They were amazing in caring for Mom,
They also gave me the support that
I so desperately needed at this critical time;
Mom didn’t have much time left,
And now we were all alone,
It was just she and I,
The nurse said it was probably
A matter of hours, or days, at the most;
Mom was resting as peacefully
As a saint in the heavenly realm,
And it was around the Hour of Mercy,
I realized that I had never told Mom
About the successful start to
The new school year for Maria Laura,
And so I went to the side of her bed,
It was a hospital bed that the hospice
Had brought over just that morning,
And it reminded me of a king-size bed
From an elegant five-star hotel,
So I went to the side of the bed,
Several different times, looking into
My mom’s eyes, and starting to tell
Her the story, but every time I began,
I choked up, and I began to sob and cry
All over again – I felt so bad, because
I wanted Mom to know that everything
Was going to be okay, that Maria Laura
And I were protected in God’s hands.
I didn’t know what to do, so I sat
In the La-z-boy chair near my mom’s bed,
In the family room, near the fireplace,
With the beautiful replica of Michelangelo’s
Pietà above the mantle, and the picture of
The Divine Mercy just off to the side;
So I started again, not thinking,
Looking directly in the face of Jesus,
The Divine Mercy, as I spoke to Mom,
And, to my surprise, I found that looking
At Him inspired me with the strength
I needed to fulfill my task.
So I began again, gazing into the face of
The Divine Mercy, and I told her all about
Maria Laura’s successes in school,
And then I shared how much the
Two of us loved her, and I thanked
Her for her love, and for her many sacrifices,
For her prayers on our behalf;
Quite a long time passed, and I
Bathed in the warmth of God’s
Indescribable peace as I reminisced with her
About our wonderful trips together,
Our wonderful lives together;
It’s true that Jesus spent 90% of his life
Under the same roof as his mom and dad,
The same is true for me, except that
In my case it’s 100% of my life –
God works in mysterious ways,
And He truly is
The God of Surprises.
So, in short, Mom and I were blessed
With a magnificent evening together;
To set a peaceful tone in preparation
For her approaching flight to Heaven,
I played her favorite classical music DVD,
With cheerful Viennese waltzes of Strauss,
With lovely ballet selections and classic art,
But I put the volume low, so that it played
Ever so softly and ever so gently.
At 10:15 p.m., it was time for her medicine,
And I noticed that her breathing had
Noticeably slowed, yet in spite of this,
She appeared to be very much at peace.
At 10:45 p.m., I checked on her one last time,
Before I went off to bed at her side;
The nurse had prepared me by telling me that
It was very possible that Mom would pass away
During the night, and when I checked Mom,
I saw that her breathing had stopped,
And yet she appeared more peaceful than ever;
Off and on throughout the day, I had
Kissed her forehead, and kissed her cheek,
With the sweetness of a faithful son;
Although she was now in Heaven,
When I kissed her forehead that last time,
She was still warm.
Fittingly enough, as I am preparing
The arrangements for Mom’s funeral mass,
Everything is coming full circle;
She lived and studied in Napoli,
The City of San Gennaro,
And now, on September 19, 2022,
On the Feast of San Gennaro,
We will celebrate Mom’s life,
And her supreme joy now in Heaven!
Thank you, Jesus, for the tenderness
Of Your divine mercy towards Mom,
And, through her, the divine mercy
That you have shown to my family,
She passed away as she had hoped
And dreamed that she would pass away:
Gently and sweetly, like a saint;
Thank you, Jesus, for showing me
The fruit of the Spirit in the
Holy life of my wonderful mother.
What a wonderful life!
Dearest Jesus, King of Divine Mercy,
I pray for myself, for my family,
For my faith community, for the world;
Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One,
Have mercy on us, and on the whole world;
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your love,
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your joy,
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your peace,
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your patience,
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your kindness,
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your generosity,
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your faithfulness,
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your gentleness,
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your self-control,
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your divine wisdom,
Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of your divine mercy.
Jesus, I trust in You!